Thanks everyone for all your help...
Just to re point out, before I posted on here I had already had the battery, alternator, and belts, and wiring going into the alternator replaced.. then I had the system load checked and had the battery load tested, I had checked all the grounds and even re ran more grounds to help with the problem...
Last night I got my new engine wire harness, disconnected it from the bulkhead and the battery and the alternator and the oil sending and temp sending units and the distributor... then i went to take off the bolts on the starter solenoid..
First off, without dropping the header it took about an hour for each bolt to come completely off and then back on with the new wires...
Here is the kicker though and I feel like a fool for not taking the time to actually check this first because I thought, "Nah, can't be that"
The two bolts on the solenoid holding the wires, were loose, really loose, guess the vibration from the motor knocked those things plum loose over the last 2 years...
Just for kicks I went ahead and changed out the harness anyway since I did pay 140 bucks for it and it is brand new...
After all said and done, started it up, started turning on accessories and the needle barely moved and then stayed put, it didn't bounce around or jump... then put it in drive and done it all the same too and it still worked the very same
So we can put this one in the category of check ALL connectors not just the ones you can physically get to from the top
My take is that the grime on the terminals must have held those wires together then when I pulled the wire off the alternator the first time it moved it free a little